Update

So i have officially finished my Undergraduate career.
Everything that could have gone wrong during finals week did.
But i guess everything worked out in the end.

I am also no longer living in Santa Cruz. I moved back to my parents house on the 21st of December, and even before i left Santa Cruz i already missed it and desperately wanted to go back. It still hasn't set in that i will no longer be going back there after the holidays. I just want to go back home. I don't like LA in the slightest. i never have. The only thing that is keeping me sane is my pup.

It is Christmas Eve tomorrow, and i can't believe this year is almost over. Everything feels the same, but at the same time everything has changed. Now would be a really good time for Peter Pan to show up at my window and take me to Neverland.

Happy Holidays from Belle and I. 

J.Keats

"Nothing is ever real, 'til it is experienced." -J. Keats

How is it that, every time i read John Keats, my heart swells and breaks at the same time. 

His poetry is just so real, so tangible. He writes and i feel it. It envelops you and caresses your senses. It is more alive now than it ever was before.


-Lily

Last Day

So it has finally come. I just had the LAST class of my undergraduate experience. 

And in true lily fashion i was 45 minutes late and seeing as i hadn't slept in 3 days i was trying so hard not to fall asleep, however the professors last words to us had a profound effect on me. This is what he said:


"When i was your age, i often wondered "what am i going to do with my life?" The best advise i can give you, is to not worry about that. Things happen for a reason and change is always going to happen. There is no point in worrying about your future, because whatever is going to happen will happen. We all have a purpose. Whether you believe in god or not, i don't care. But i know that everybody was put on here to do something great. Just do the best that you can in the present, and the future will surprise you.  Life is a celebration, not a trial.We have to learn to live it."

Couldn't have been more relevant to me, as i worry more and more what i am going to do with my life. 

Okay, now to hunker down and finish these finals strong. 

School out forever!!

                           -Lily

Pint of ice cream

Like i just rewarded myself with 3 hours of break after writing down 2 sentences on my essay. 

So to wallow in my self-loathing, i just ate a pint of ice cream. Now i feel like a whale and i still haven't started my essay. 

Lord baby cheesus help me. 

I am so done with thisssss.

Listening to Beyonce hoping she'll motivate me as i walk through the valley of death
-lily

December

IT'S THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR!

I can't believe it's already December! While Christmas is my Ultimate Favorite Holiday, this just means that i only have 21 more days left in Santa Cruz. I am so torn, because while i am soooo sad to leave Santa Cruz, at the same time i am beyond happy to almost be reunited for good with my 11 year old dog, Belle, who is my heart and soul. And hopefully never to part until her last breath here on earth. I am also so excited to see my family. I love all of them so much. And finally be able to hang out with all my old friends. It is a very bittersweet feeling.

This weekend was Thanksgiving weekend, which was very fun. I wen't up to redwood city, and had dinner at my friend's house. I made vegan pasta, and my friend's sister made a delicious apple pie! It was incredible, Then we all went to go watch The Book Thief movie, which was great! The whole weekend was so much fun, well aside from the fact that i didn't get as much Homework done as i'd hope, but oh well. It was my last thanksgiving in northern California, well at least for a while, so i just wanted to enjoy it. I can wallow in my self-loathing next week as finals approach, but for now, i'm just trying to enjoy every minute of my last days here. haha

This was also the first weekend without having to walk Duke, and i missed him so much. There are just so many people and places up here that are going to be so hard to say goodbye to.

I want to try and write something everyday until the New Year, So we shall see how that goes, especially since finals start in a week! Oh dear, Till next time.

-Lily

First Goodbye

So today i had to say my first goodbye to one of the best dogs in the world as i prepare to leave beautiful Santa Cruz.

My duke, he seriously came into my life when i most needed a friend. With him, i got to explore all of santa cruz. I met so many people on our walks, and was just constantly amazed by the beauty of this crazy beach town. There is no greater feeling than the love of a dog, and i really hope he remembers me and our adventures. I seriously had the absolute best time with him. These last five months with him have been the absolute best, my memory is not the best, but i hope our adventures stay with me forever. I love this gorgeous boy so much, and life without seeing him every week is a little too sad to think about.

It was a pretty perfect last day together. The weather was gorgeous, and when we got to our favorite walking place, we found the whole thing covered with monarch butterflies, fluttering all around the sky.

 I gave him some cheese, and we hugged and kissed. The sea was perfect and so was the sunset. We ran and laughed and howled with joy. Oh my baby duke. I mean when i came up to college i had to say goodbye to my dog, but i knew it would only be temporary and that i would see her on the holidays, but with duke, i really don't know when or if i'll ever see him next. When i gave him to his owner, i was just racked with this suffocating feeling. I am a big baby when it comes to dogs, and it was so hard to keep it together, which i kind of failed at doing. I love him so so so much, and i really hope this isn't a goodbye. Take care of your self buddy!

Love

-Lily

6 weeks

I have 6 weeks left in the beautiful Santa Cruz! So tragic. I will be leaving all this for crappy LA. Although i am trying not to dwell too much on that, and trying to enjoy what little time i have left here.

But yeah, i haven't been doing very well in keeping this blog updated daily, but i finally have somewhat of a life besides school, so that's good right? Haha although in probably a week i will be back to freak out study mode preparing for the last finals of my undergraduate career! YESSS!

So today i walked Duke, and it was such a gorgeous day! Seriously autumn is the bet season. We went into this little cave of branches and just sat down and enjoyed the smell around us, and the rays of the setting sun. It was seriously perfect. I have so much fun with this guy. I am going to miss him immensely. It also doesn't help that as i continue walking him, he just gets more and more affectionate with me. I want to film him how he gets when i go pick him up its the cutest thing ever! I love my little Buddy. He protects me from the funny men. Which we happened to run into today, but duke promptly took care of them and barked at them. haha I felt like a proud mommy. He scared them off thinking the wolf was going to attack them. haha every girl needs a "wolf" at her side. Especially if they are as gorgeous as duke.

Yeah, so we walked along the beach cliffs and the waves were hugeee today! there was a swarm of surfers! but as always, lily forgets to bring her camera. Seriously everyday i just fall more and more in love with santa cruz. I really really really don't want to leave.

I should return to my homework now,  So hopefully i begin re-updating this semi-daily.

I'll just leave you to listen to my favorite ginger boy Ed Sheeran. <3 Seriously this kid is so great.